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Learning Moments in Retirement: Episode 260

Kathe Kline, the host of the Rock Your Retirement Show, welcomed Steve Lopez to discuss his book “What I Learned About Retirement… From Some Who've Done It and Some Who Never Will”. Kathe and Steve discussed the many variables to consider when contemplating retirement, including financial considerations, identity issues, and creative fields.

They also shared their own experiences with retirement; Kathe recently moved to one of the largest 55 and older communities in the United States while Steve took a huge pay cut in order to have three months off each year.

Additionally, they discussed how Steve has been using his newfound free time since retiring to explore new hobbies such as playing guitar and watching his daughter's college tennis team play. Kathe and Steve discussed the complexities of financial planning for retirement. They discussed how the pandemic has changed their lives, with Steve now working from home after 50 years of going to an office.

Steve suggested they take their show on the road, with Steve talking about retirement issues, playing guitar, and a 10-minute Q&A. They also discussed how Steve needs to develop a life outside of work in retirement and Steve shared that he had neglected his friendships in the past due to working long hours, but has since been making an effort to reconnect with old friends.

He also mentioned that Nancy Schlossberg advised him to embrace ambiguity during this transition period. They discussed the importance of nurturing relationships outside of work and family after retirement or semi-retirement. They noted that money is a major factor in retirement decisions due to inflation, stock market fluctuations, and medical costs.

Finally, they discussed how many people move away from California for cheaper housing costs but experience culture shock when they do so, as well as looking into parts of Spain with similar weather patterns to Southern California. Kathe and Steve discussed the potential difficulties of finding contractors and getting permits when immigrating to a new country, as well as the need to assimilate into the culture.

They highlighted how this is a problem that can occur anywhere, even within the United States. Steve shared his advice from his research, which was to search for the meaning of life and do what replenishes you. He was inspired by Father Greg Boyle who said, “Go where life is and do what replenishes you.”

They both said goodbye to listeners before Steve announced he was getting his guitar out to rock out.

STEVE LOPEZ – Veteran Los Angeles Times columnist, recipient of more than a dozen national journalism awards, four-time Pulitzer Prize finalist, and bestselling author of “The Soloist”. Known for his trademark poignancy, wisdom, and humor, Lopez will release his newest book, Independence Day: What I Learned About Retirement from Some Who’ve Done It and Some Who Never Will (Harper Horizon, September 13, 2022).

This post on Retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

What to Wear on Your Retirement Day

Retirement PartyWhat to Wear on your Retirement Day by Laura Watson

Thinking about your retirement party brings up many questions. What should I wear? Who can I ask to be my plus one? Do I need to reserve a special room or is any old room good enough? Where can I find affordable decorations and table settings? How much money do I need to set aside for gifts, food, and entertainment? And perhaps most importantly, what the heck do I wear on my retirement day?

These may seem like little details that don’t require much planning. But with so much at stake in terms of self-presentation, first impressions, and lasting memories, dressing appropriately on your final day at work is absolutely essential. Read on for our best tips regarding what to wear on your retirement day:

Decide on your outfit ahead of time

Of all the details we’ve listed, this might be the most important. Wearing the “wrong” thing on your retirement day will instantly undermine all the other work you put into the event.

It’s an unfortunate fact that all eyes will be on you, and if you’re not dressed for the occasion, your friends and colleagues might feel distracted by your attire and miss out on the joy of the day. This doesn’t mean you have to go all out and don full formal wear. But you should definitely decide on your outfit ahead of time to avoid last-minute stress.

If you can, wear something that represents your career or your personality. If you’ve gotten a promotion or won an award during your time at the company, this is a great chance to show it off. You don’t have to wear formal wear, either.

A bright shirt, a flashy tie, or a stylish jacket can also make a great outfit. Of course, you should also consider the rest of your attire. Your pants, socks, shoes, and other accessories should be appropriate for the occasion.

Dressing for the occasion: Finding the right balance

Retirement is, of course, a formal occasion, but it’s also not a wedding. While you want to look your best and make a great impression on your friends and colleagues, you don’t want to wear anything too flashy or attention-grabbing.

This is a celebration of your career, not an excuse to show off your designer wardrobe. You should wear what is appropriate for a work event: no jeans or sneakers, no sleeveless shirts or shorts, and nothing overtly revealing or too flashy. Instead, look for tasteful clothing that is comfortable, easily washable, and age-appropriate.

You don’t want your retirement party to be the first time you wear that ridiculously expensive designer suit you’ve been saving for decades. Save it for the next company gala.

Don’t wear black (unless you’re a man)

Black is a powerful color, often associated with gravitas and formality. It’s also the color of mourning and grief. If you’re a man, black is fine, but it’s important to recognize the cultural context of your clothing. If you’re a woman, however, wearing black is a bad idea.

For women, a much better color choice would be a strong and vibrant shade of blue. Blue is associated with confidence, intelligence, and trustworthiness. It’s also the color of the sky, the sea, and other natural elements. Blue is a bold and beautiful color that will help you stand out as a strong, confident woman.

Go for color and vibrancy

Beyond the specific color choices, you should also look for vibrant, colorful clothing. This will help you stand out among your peers, but in a positive way. It’s common for people to be nervous or anxious at a retirement party, and bright, eye-catching clothing can help you overcome this nervousness.

It’s also a great way to make sure that you’re remembered; the host of the party will appreciate your vibrant clothing, and your friends will remember it forever. A great way to find vibrant clothing is to visit a local thrift store. You can find great ready to wear pieces from previous decades that are both colorful and comfortable.

Another option would be to visit a vintage clothing store; many such shops have a large selection of vibrant vintage clothing that would be perfect for a retirement party.

Look for comfortable, breathable fabrics

Retirement parties tend to be long. You’ll likely be celebrating well into the evening, and you might even have to stand for a speech or two. Even if you have the luxury of sitting down most of the time, you’ll be on your feet plenty.

To make sure you stay comfortable throughout the event, you should select clothing made from breathable fabrics. This will keep you cool and collected even as the event progresses.

It’s also important to select fabrics that are comfortable as you move around. For women, a nice suit made from a soft, stretchy fabric would be a great choice. A soft pair of slacks with a stretchy waistband would also be a good option.

Plan your accessories with care

If you don’t want to wear a suit and you don’t want to wear a dress, what should you wear? Accessories are very important in this situation. You can still make a great impression with a carefully selected tie or an eye-catching watch.

You might also want to consider a nice pair of shoes; many people overlook footwear and don’t realize how important it is to find comfortable, stylish shoes. A carefully selected tie can be a great way to show your personality.

You can use it to reference your career or show off your interests and hobbies. You might even want to use your retirement party as an opportunity to debut a new tie.

Find the right shoes

One of the last things you should think about when choosing your outfit for your retirement party is the shoes. This is not the time to break in a new pair of dress shoes or to wear a pair of clunky hiking boots. Instead, you should find comfy, stylish shoes that will go well with pretty much anything.

While there are definitely footwear options that are more formal than others, it’s important to keep in mind that the goal is to look comfortable, not overly prim and proper.

You want to look like yourself, not like you’ve been forced into the wrong role. Retirement parties are a celebration of a lifetime of hard work and accomplishments. While they can be stressful and nerve-wracking, you can make things a little easier by dressing appropriately.

Conclusion

Retirement parties can be stressful and nerve-wracking, but you can make things a little easier by dressing appropriately. You’ll want to make sure to wear something that is appropriate for a work event and to make sure it represents your personality.

It’s also important to choose vibrant, colorful clothing that will help you stand out. It’s also important to choose comfy, breathable fabrics and to plan your accessories with care. When it comes to shoes, you should find ones that are comfortable and go well with pretty much anything.

Summer of Reconnecting: Episode 259

We are back again following Barbara Mock through her retirement journey. Barbara talks about what has been a summer of reconnecting so far.

Reconnecting with Family

In our last episode, Barbara was talking about cleaning up the yard in preparation for a graduation party for her niece. She has since had the party and talks about how nice it was to reconnect with family. Since the beginning of COVID Barbara has had other nieces graduate but their celebrations had to be virtual. This was a treat to have everyone together in person Barbara had a wonderful time with her family and it felt good to be together. She also talks about reconnecting with one of her uncles at the party.

Connecting with New and Old friends

Barbara and her husband met new friends while they were traveling in their motorhome. They were able to get together with them recently and spent 3 days in their home.  They enjoyed riding bikes, golfing, and swimming. Barbara doesn’t remember a time when she met people during her travels and then actually reconnected with them later down the road. It meant a lot to her to foster the new friendship.

She also talks about getting together with friends they have had for many years.

Reconnecting with Grandkids

With their recent RV travels, Barbara and her husband haven't been able to spend a lot of time with their grandkids. Since returning, Barbara has been able to enjoy being a grandma and spending a lot more time with them. She feels fortunate that she is able to see them more than just on Holidays as she now has the time since she is retired.

New adventures on the horizon

7 months on an RV journey! That is what Barbara will be doing as of September. They will be going to South Dakota, Wyoming, Arizona, and Colorado. And who knows where else they may wind up. We discuss the planning for the trip which has been a fun but massive undertaking. Barbara is excited to get back on the road in their RV but does mention that there can be some cons when it comes to traveling this way. You never know what the weather will bring, sometimes the views aren't as picturesque as you would imagine and the cost can be pretty significant sometimes.

I know I look forward to hearing more about their travels and it will also be interesting to see if 7 months straight with Barbara and her husband traveling together will drive them bonkers! 😊

The Go-Go Years vs The Slower-Go Years

Barbra and I talk about trying to have discussions in advance on what you see for your life during your 60’s, 70’s, 80's, and beyond.

A very dear friend of mine who was in my synchronized swimming class with me said “don’t wait until you are 80 to figure out where you are going to go because if you do, you are going to wind up in a crisis. Start thinking about what you want to do. Don’t wait and figure it out. This is very good advice.

All though I think it varies for everyone The Go-Go Years are typically ages 65-75. These are the years to focus on family, travel, etc. Anything that may be on your bucket list and requires an active lifestyle.

The Slow-Go Years are typically ages age 76 to 85. They may look a little different as many people are still active but at a slower pace.

Photos and Memories

reconnecting in retirement

During the graduation party, Barbara's father came to visit and was searching for photos and scanning them into his iPad. He wants to remember things from her and her mom’s younger years. This got Barbara thinking about her own photos. So she is now tearing apart her old photo albums and getting digitized. It has been a trip through memory lane for her.

In a previous episode, Barbara talks about a gift from her daughter which was Storyworth. Her story is completed and her next project is to go through her mom's journals and create a Storyworth of her Mother's memories and photos. She passed away over 20 years ago and until now Barbara has never read these journals.

I think most of us lived in the era of disposable cameras and going to pick up our pictures at the store. Maybe you have photo albums or boxes of photos. Perhaps take the time to not only digitize your photos but turn them into something that people can look at. Work on capturing the memories for future generations to look at and read about.

Websites mentioned in the episode

Trusted Housesitters– If you use this link, you'll get 25% off your membership, and I'll get a couple of months added to mine

www.storyworth.com 

This post of Retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Adapting in Retirement with Barbara Mock

I hope you are all having a wonderful start to the summer season. In this episode, Babara updates us on what is going on in her world.

RV Woes

Barbara talks about her RV that has been in the shop and has been having warranty work done on it for a month. Much like anything post-pandemic, there is difficulty getting parts and things just take a lot longer. Her advice to the listener “if you plan to RV full-time or part-time is to be flexible”

Lessons in Patience and Resilience

During their RV travels Barbara and her husband have had to learn the new National Parks online reservation system and are finding more and more places that don’t take cash.

The use of the internet is more prevalent than ever. Barbara talks about retirees in their 70s and 80s who have struggled with our more technological society and miss things the way they used to be.

Now more than ever, it is important to make sure you are at least familiar with the internet. If you or a loved one needs help, there are classes available and many are free. You can check your local senior center or there are some resources listed below.

The world is changing and even traveling is changing. Cash is used less and less. We currently have supply chain issues and labor shortages. Inflation is rising and costs are skyrocketing. And, we are still in a pandemic with Covid cases are rising again in some areas.  Having patience whether, you are in a restaurant, traveling, waiting for supplies to fix your house, or even waiting for your RV to be fixed is important.

The White Picket Fence

When Barbara just married her husband, she wanted the 2 kids, the house, and the white picket fence. Her husband built her that white picket fence when they were newly married. When they came home from their 3-month RV trip Barbara felt like she had a “new set of eyes” and some yard work needed to be done. What started out as “sprucing things up” became a full yard remodel.

One of the first things Barbara wanted to be done was that white picket fence taken down. Her husband did not. In her eyes, the fence was old and getting dilapidated. Where her husband built that fence for his wife with his own 2 hands and there was a lot of love and emotion that went into that project.

Barbara did not let up and her husband ended up taking the fence down. As the fence was being taken down, Barbara started to remember what age the kids were when it was built and the things they had gone through as a family over the years. The white picket fence had many memories attached to it. It became a symbolic thing and here she was taking it down.

Compromise and Communication

Barbara and Kathe also talk about communicating and compromising in relationships. Barbara’s husband would rather stay home and she likes to travel.  There has been a sort of tension around this in their relationship. When you retire, you may make a plan with your spouse for what your retirement will look like, but things may not feel the same for each person.

Barbara and her husband have been making sure they are trying to communicate, be willing to negotiate and bend at times, and above all, treat each other with kindness.  You aren’t the same person as you were when you first got married and the routine you were both used to pre-retirement is no longer. You have to be open to change.

One of the reasons this podcast was started was because retirement can have an unanticipated impact on relationships. Both Barbara and I know of couples who end up staying married for financial reasons but live separately and even couples who end up getting divorced. We previously had a guest on our show who had moved to Costa Rica with her husband.

She fell in love with it and he hated it there. They ended up getting a divorce. She chose Costa Rica over her marriage. If you haven’t listened to the episode, you can do there here HERE

Final Thoughts

To end the conversation Barbara talks about “Grandkids week.” It wasn’t a vacation they just did life with them, and it was an amazing experience. Before she retired, she wouldn’t have had the time to spend with her children and grandchildren as she is able to now.  Even though there have been some challenges she doesn’t regret retiring at all.

Do you have any questions or comments? Reach out to us at  Podcast@rockyourretirement.com and we will try to answer them in the show

Resources for Senior classes

This post of Retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Kindness Keeps Marriages Together

Today we are talking about marriage. Neither Barbara nor I are mental health care professionals, so please don't take this episode as professional advice. If you are having marriage problems or considering getting married, please seek counseling from a qualified professional. These are just our experiences and what I've learned from research.

If you are a long-term listener to this show, you know that one of the six pillars to a great retirement lifestyle is your relationship with your significant other, if you have one.

But this is not an easy thing in the United States. Here, we have been taught that marriage is something that should be entered into for life and that divorce is almost always a bad thing. But most marriages here fail. And when they do, it's usually because one or both partners were too selfish to care about their partner's needs.

And so, what can we do? How can we make our relationships better? What can we do to keep them together?

In this episode, I will share a few secrets about relationships.  If you are not married, you can use this information with your friendships so keep listening!

We'll be talking about the following:

  • Be flexible – things don't always go as planned.
  • Have Adventures with each other.
  • Take time for yourself too.
  • Be kind!

Be flexible – things don't always go as planned.

If you listened to the last episode we released, you found out that things don't always go as planned.  Barbara and her husband purchased a beautiful, brand new motor home, and were ready to go on a dream trip. If you haven't listened to that episode, go back and listen.  Although it's not Barbara's voice you'll hear, it is her words.  We used a computer voice so that we could get the episode out to you because Barbara and I have both been busy.

And I'd like to apologize to the listeners for not getting this episode out earlier.  We had a few people reach out to us to determine if we were OK.  Yes, we are.  Barbara's been traveling, and I wasn't really ready to do solo episodes in the interim.  So we went dark.  Because this is an independent show with no advertisers, we were able to do that and come back.

But I'm sorry I didn't send an email or anything to let you know what was going on.  We'll try to do better next time.

This really ties into the first segment.  Things don't always go as planned. When you are retired or preparing for retirement, you need to be flexible.

Flexibility is something I'm working on.  It's very difficult for me to change midstream.  This is especially true if I'm trying to learn how to do something.   I think I got a bit of a bad reputation in my synchronized swimming because of that.  The choreographers have to make adjustments to the routines so that every swimmer can shine in the show.  After all, we are not spring chickens, and we are not competing in the Olympics.  Every one of our synchronized swimmers has a life outside of swimming.

Last year, our routine got changed several times, not only to accommodate our team members but also because we lost two of our swimmers due to Health Issues.  We also had a replacement because one of our swimmers decided she'd rather do a different activity.  Luckily, we could replace that swimmer, but our team kept getting smaller.

Every time our routine was changed, I would snort.  I thought I was being funny, but now I realize I was causing a lot of stress to the choreographers.  I learned a lot about being flexible and how that doesn't just affect me but also affects people around me.  So it's something I'm working on under the subject of friendships AND significant others.

Of course, I have a lot of work to do before being considered flexible.  And I'll have to do a lot to rid myself of that inflexible reputation.

Let's hear what Barbara has to say about it.

Barbara:  “Well, I would call this, when things don't go as planned. Because when you have a planned trip, you have dates and times of where you need to be. And
when everything falls apart, you have to start canceling plans. And one thing I learned is RV resorts don't cancel plans for bad weather. And we were in bad weather, we were snow, we
were rain, everything was crazy. So I didn't know if we could get any of our money back. But we had a nine-day trip planned down the Oregon and California coast. So we got to Arizona.”

“But when I called them and truthfully told them our story that we had a brand new 2022 That wouldn't start, the sympathy was amazing. And with one exception, we got our refunds. And so I can't say enough about how kind people were. But when things don't go as planned, then you're winging it. And lots of people are very comfortable with that. I'm not I want to know where I'm sleeping, where I'm plugged in to where I'm hooking up, and I do exhaustive research. But at the point that it finally got started, it was go time. And we were two weeks
beyond what we'd already paid for in Arizona. And okay, it's just money, but it still felt wrong that we've paid for this, and we're not there enjoying that.”

“So, we just did a beat feet. Just start driving. One thing I've learned from lots and lots of people is that three to four hours of driving is a good, it's a good number. Get up in the morning, have your breakfast drive, have your lunch, and go check-in, you know, one or two. Well, we wanted to get there. And so we drove a lot of 5-6-7 hour days. And then you don't have anywhere to sleep because you don't know where you are.”

Kathe: “But there is one good thing about having an RV and you're driving five hours. You have a bathroom. Right?”

Barbara:  “Amen, sister. And so, and I'm about to go as far as my husband can. So I know, he'd go on fine. I'm like I'm not . So yeah, having a bathroom, but also having a place to make a sandwich. Or to be able to get up and get him some chips or a drink or a cup of tea or something. And you know, it's fully functional. With or without power, you have a generator and everything and so, so that was good.

But I have to say that there's a whole world out there of Walmart and Cracker Barrels, and let you stay there. And so, while it wasn't the most restful night, because they're usually by a major highway or an airport or something like that. You can do it; you can do it. I think that was early on him driving and, you know, getting in and out of parking lots and whatever was really white knuckle for us, because we're towing a jeep. But the more he drove, the better he got at it, you know. And so, one learning I have with an RV is when things don't go as planned and you don't have anywhere to go, you're gonna be okay; you can pull over just about anywhere. And as long as you feel safe, you know, geographically safe, and there's room to put your slides out, you can go to bed, get up the next morning and head-on. So you can cover a lot more territory, more distance than I had imagined. And we really kind of let it go.  We had in our mind what, we were going to see and what we were going to do. And at this point, it's like okay, just Get there.”

Have adventures with each other 

The next episode of the Rock Your Retirement Show will go over Barbara's latest  Adventure.  In this adventure, she and her husband helped build a house in a few days.  They went to Mexico with their small church fellowship group and built a house.

I'm not going to tell you the entire story; I'll let Barbara do that in the next episode.  But I can tell you that adventures can strengthen a marriage.

How can adventures strengthen a marriage?

Well, they give both partners opportunities to grow together. You see, when you're married, your partner becomes part of your identity. And when you're retired, you become more of yourself. That means you have new interests and new hobbies. Adventures allow you to explore those interests and hobbies.

They help you get to know each other better. They also give you a chance to spend quality time together.

And finally, adventures help you stay connected. If you're still doing things together after you retire, then you won't feel like you've forgotten who you are.

These can be big adventures or small adventures.  If you are a long-term listener of the show, you may remember Fritz Gilbert from episodes 198 and 225.  Fritz and his wife created the “Wednesday Jar”.  This was where they wrote one thing down on a piece of paper that they could do for their Wednesday adventures.  They filled the jar up with hundreds of these “one things”.

Then each Wednesday, they would draw something from the jar, and they would go do it.  This way they got to do some fun things together, some that she wanted to do, and some that he wanted to do, and it was always something different, so they never got bored.

So, if you want to keep your marriage strong, start planning some adventures.

Take time for Yourself!

Over the last year, I've started doing things on my own more.  Prior to that, Les and I always did things as a couple.  But now, I'm getting more involved in some of the activities in my 55 and older community.

For example, Synchronized Swimming.  You've already heard about that.  But this activity takes at least six hours of my time every week.

Then there is the Art Club.  I've been elected to the Board of Directors.  And I recently volunteered to chair one of our committees that I'm passionate about.  So this activity is just for me.

I'm also exercising almost every day in the pool, including Synchronized Swimming. I used to try to get my husband to come with me, but he really doesn't like it.  So I do this on my own, and he exercises with dumbbells at home or he does something else.

But what I love most about being active on my own is the friendships I make. I meet people who share similar passions and interests. It's great to talk to them about how we can all work together.

This kind of friendship is very important because research shows that loneliness is one of the biggest threats to retirement happiness.

If you don't have friends, it's much harder to enjoy life. So, take time to build relationships with people who share your interests.  You can do things without your spouse.  It gives you both time to create things to talk about with each other later.

Barbara:  A new friend at my back door, said, you know, I gotta tell you something. If you're bored here, there is something seriously wrong with you. Because there are so many clubs, so many opportunities to connect. And especially if you're in the pet section, you're going to meet people. But what she did say is, I'm a firm believer in time and space, or space and time. It's not good for you to be with your husband all the time. So you need to have some space, and you need to have time away from him. And at this point, I had been with him
constantly. And so she goes, that's what I love about golf. He goes away for five or six hours, and I can do whatever I want.

And it gives your spouse time away to recharge as well.

Be kind to your spouse!

According to Ty Tashiro, in his book, The Science of Happily Ever After, most marriages fail.  He states that only three in ten marriages remain healthy and happy, and the rest wind up either in divorce or dysfunction.

Divorce rates started climbing in the 1970s, which prompted social scientists to study marriage.

In 1986, psychologists John Gottman and Robert Levenson set up a “Love Lab” to begin a study of married couples.  They hooked the couples up to electrodes and studied how newlyweds interacted with each other.

They asked the couples to talk about their relationship, including details about a positive memory they had, a major conflict they were facing, and how they met.

As they spoke, the electrodes were measuring them.  They were measuring their heart rates, their blood flow, and how much they were sweating.

Then the couples went home, and Gottman followed up with them six years later to see if they were still married.

He found two types of couples, the masters and the disasters.

The masters were still married six years later.  These couples had the habit of complimenting their spouses and acknowledging their spouses in kind ways.

The disasters, on the other hand, seemed to find ways to criticize each other.  In their initial interviews, they looked calm.  But the electrodes told a different story.  Their blood flow was fast, their heart rates were quick, and they were sweating.

These couples showed signs of being in “fight or flight mode,” as if they were constantly prepared to be verbally attacked or go on the offense with their spouse.

It's not surprising that these “disaster couples” had either divorced or had troubled marriages when Gottman followed up with them six years later.

Gottman's takeaway was that having a good marriage boils down to kindness.  Do the individuals in the relationship bring kindness and generosity to the relationship, or do they bring hostility, contempt, and criticism?

When Les and I first married, we became friends with another couple.  This couple had some similarities to us, which made it easy to become friends. The husband was significantly older than his wife. They didn't have children. This couple was fun to be around.

But over time, Les and I stopped spending so much time with them.  The issue that I had was that the wife was constantly belittling her husband when we were alone or with other women. She didn't do it in front of him, but when I asked her about it, she said that she was just blowing off steam, I figured that I didn't want to be around such negativity since the other women in the group would also air complaints about their husbands too.

I don't really keep in touch with them, but I do know that there have been some divorces inside that social circle.

I think that the reason Barbara has such a strong marriage is because of the kindness they show to each other.  Even in times of stress:

Barbara:  And one of the things that I had to take away is that in any marriage, you're going to go through hard times, right? It's just a part of life. And we, we didn't turn on each other, which surprised me a little bit. Because you know, when things go wrong blaming can happen. Why did we do this, but for whatever reason we were it was like these circumstances, the weather, the situation was against us. So we actually kind of pulled together.

Now my husband's a repairman. He's a fixer. And I'm a project manager planner. And all of that was blown out of the water because he doesn't know how to fix a Freightliner chassis. That's not running, right. He, but he's still trying to problem solve. So, hours and hours and hours of talking about, what about this? What about this? It was mind-numbing. And me, I'm going oh, well, we haven't left yet. Oh, I better cancel. And so everything we'd spent months planning unraveled. I think the pandemic prepared me for that, though, right. It's like, okay, get your hopes up. And they're dashed again. But it wasn't because of the pandemic, it was because the thing wouldn't start.

And so one of the things my takeaway is, if you resolve to be kind to people together, it's hard. There were days when I wanted to take someone's head off, there were days where I just wanted to scream and cry and throw a tantrum. But on those days, he was always the one saying, wait a second. Let's be humble. We have a roof over our heads. We're not suffering. We've been studying Ephesians. And Paul in prison, and he goes, this is pretty cushy. Here. We have a great bath, and we have all the stuff we need.

And so the same happened with him when he gets frustrated go, you know, let's take the high road. Let's not do that. But we definitely realized how outside people could affect us because everyone wanted to help. But a lot of people were sending US Attorneys names. Lemon Law, you know, rip up a new one take the motorhome back.

And we realized that when next time our friends are in that situation, we're not going to do that. It's not helpful, because now you're defending your decisions. And to be honest, I was a little embarrassed Cathy, here, we bought this. Hundreds of 1000s of dollars beautiful, it's a beautiful motorhome. And I went dark I went silent. email, social media media, because it's like, really, you're complaining because it won't run.

And so my takeaway on enduring when things fall apart is to remind yourself that everything is fixable. Everything's repairable, nothing's permanent. And it to be honest with you got us to be familiar with our motorhome, because we picked it up and got in it. And now you're living in it without power, without water, without sewer.

And you really have to be thoughtful and mindful about how all these systems work or
don't work. So the home itself was fine. But my takeaway was in life, in retirement in an RV, things are gonna go wrong. And how you treat your spouse and how you treat each other is
going to, it's going to show any weaknesses in your relationship.

But it's also going to strengthen you. And so I would never wish it on anyone. But in hindsight, it was a good way for
us to start out.

Conclusion

So, listener, I hope this episode will help you with your own relationships.  Also, don't forget to listen to the next show where Barbara talks about her adventure with her husband in building a house!

And if you haven't joined our mailing list yet, just send us an email at podcast@rockYourRetirement.com, and we'll add you.  You can also go to the website RockYourRetirement.com and fill out the form.

Also, if you haven't already, please join the Rock Your Retirement Community!  I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say about how to Rock Your Retirement!!

 

This post of Retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

 

Retirement journey updates with Kathe and Barbara

This episode is a bit different. You will get two updates. One will be an update about my life and another update on what is going on in Barbara’s world. Only it won’t be Barbara’s voice you hear. It will be an automated voice that is reading her journal.

Although I’m still working, I have cut way back on my hours. I am focusing more on activities outside of work. I am currently practicing for an upcoming synchronized swimming show which I am actually quite nervous about.Retirement journey update with Kathe Kline and Barbara Mock

We also have an update on Barbara Mock’s retirement adventures. Barbara kept a journal about their first major trip in her and her husband’s brand-new Recreational Vehicle.  You won’t want to miss what happened!

Lastly, if you know of someone who is retiring soon, within the next 12 months, we are looking for a new addition to the show.  Our goal is to follow different retirees from about 6 months prior to retirement to about 6 months after retirement.  If you know someone who might be interested in this project, please have that person contact me at Podcast@RockYourRetirement.com so we can discuss it.

This post of Retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

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